Before you RSVP to your VIP party get to the mirror ASAP and check out that VPL

Before you RSVP to your VIP party, get to the mirror ASAP, and check out that VPL. There are solutions - be they g-strings, trouser briefs, control-top tights, or simply no knickers at all. At least I can wear my g-string under my Sportmax boot- legs, and strip off to reveal it in the gym locker-room, in the certain knowledge that most of the fat old birds in there would turn up to board meetings wearing only this piece of dental floss, if they had buttocks like mine.There is no excuse for revealing your panty line to the world. But when it came to the (Pamela- Anderson-eat-your-heart-out) g-string bikini, he hesitated, then shook his head, saying no, this was really 18-year-old-waif gear. I haven't yet got over the fact that he doesn't think I possess the body of an 18- year-old waif.

Tops and bottoms are sold separately, so I thought, what the hell, I'll get some g-string bottoms while I'm at it - nice to have a sun-kissed behind.I thought my other half would have been unable to contain himself, as I gave him a pre-bedtime fashion show. The assistant rather cunningly reassured me that no, I didn't look fat in them and yes, they were supposed to be that tight; and she had processed my Visa card and lovingly wrapped my brand-new purchase in tissue, before I'd even had time to consider my panty line options.The ensuing evening gave me a new complex to mix and match with my new trews. They were reduced from pounds 169 to pounds 53, so I just had to have them. Don't these people look in the mirror? Or is it the fault of complacent/well meaning/ scared partners, who to the much- voiced "I look fat in this, don't I?", reply "of course you don't, my darling", every time.I have never been a fan of squeeze-me-quick Lycra below the waist, so VPL was not a personal challenge - that is, until this year's January sales, when I fell for a pair of skin-tight, indigo, boot-cut Sportmax trousers.

His relief at not picking her, was palpable - so was mine. I have no sympathy for anyone suffering from VPL This is, after all, a self-imposed affliction. Summed up in three little letters, it is the summer sin: VPL. VPL, or "visible panty line", is a phenomenon that appears as soon as spring has sprung It rises with the sap at the merest blink of sunshine. It manifests itself most commonly at weddings, office parties, and even on prime-time television A recent Blind Date contestant was a textbook example. The lovely lad may not have liked the cut of her jib, but most of Britain saw the cut of her knicks as she waddled up Cilla's stairs to the losers' dressing room. I'm seriously thinking of investing in a pair of very dark glasses in order to survive the next few months.

Scrape out a hollow in the ground underneath this point and peg the stem down into it. Cover it with earth and put a flat stone on top of it to stop it springing free A year later, the stem should have rooted To free it, simply cut the stem behind the layer.. Rhododendrons and azaleas propagate particularly well by this method, and I have also had 100 per cent success with Hydrangea villosa.When you notice a likely branch for layering, snick the underside of it about a foot back from the growing tip. Many common shrubs such as berberis, dogwood, cotoneaster, escallonia, privet and ribes root from hardwood cuttings.A layer is a kind of hardwood cutting, with the added advantage that if it doesn't take, the evidence isn't so obvious. A propagating frame set at about 60 F will hurry up the rooting process of shrubs such as choisya and ceanothus, but is not essential.The older the wood you take for cuttings, the longer the cutting itself is, and the longer it takes to root, so hardwood cuttings, taken from the ripened wood of a shrub or tree in autumn and early winter, sometimes take a year to root. Trim off the growing top and the bottom leaves and put the cuttings into a cold frame, pushing them into the ground to about half their length.A basal cutting is one made with a clean cut through the slight swelling that usually occurs where side shoots join the main stem.

This is all that distinguishes it from a heel cutting.Basal cuttings of choisya taken in late July or August will root in pots covered with a plastic bag or (in mild districts) lined out direct in the ground. Both buddleia and chaenomeles root from heel cuttings, taken in late July or August. Take 6-in sections of stem and line them out in sandy soil in a cold frame, where they have some winter protection. Try the technique with hydrangeas, too, by taking 4-in sections of semi-ripe wood and sticking them round the side of a pot of compost.