It belongs in a museum under glass

It belongs in a museum, under glass. Both the main party leaders make great play of the institution, Tony Blair promising to "strengthen family life", John Major pledging greater "choice and security".But it's the Conservative manifesto that strikes the more strident note. At times, it sounds like a headmistress addressing a group of sixth-form girls, circa 1955: "Good prepar- ation for marriage can be an important aid to a successful family," it tells us, provoking blushes and knowing giggles in the back row. It's the Conservatives who also offer the greatest innovation, a tax incentive which will mean that where one half of a married couple gives up work to look after young children or elderly relatives, his or her unused personal allowance will be transferred to the other half. Under the scheme, two million married couples with dependants will be up to pounds 17.50 per week better off. Here is a scheme that strikes at the guilty part of Middle England. Many working parents feel that they don't give enough time and attention to their children; many children, once they reach middle-age, are conscious of failing their ageing parents; many marriages are breaking up that once would have held together. As families come increasingly to depend on two incomes, what were once parental or filial responsibilities are being transferred to others, at a price Childcare is expensive Nursing homes spirit away the family silver.

It's this widespread unease that the Tories' stay-at-home incentive is intended to meet.But how can the scheme work? Set aside for a moment the question of whether pounds 900 a year is sufficient temptation for one or other partner to give up the day job to change nappies for a toddler or ancient aunt. Don't raise the issue of whether it's fair that only married couples (not cohabitees or single parents) qualify for this tax break. Suppress the suspicion that here is a policy that will endear itself only to those who vote Conservative already. Perish the thought that this government so keen on parents seeing more of their children is the same government which has fought to keep the British working week the longest in Europe.

The real question is: do we want to recreate the family model, or model family, that is implied here? Indeed, did it ever exist?Perhaps it did, very briefly. No matter how many surveys tell us otherwise, the idea persists that the British family was once a happier, friendlier, more secure and orderly place. In the dream time of the 1950s, somewhere in Myddle England, Mr A and Miss B met, fell in love and decided to marry. He had a steady job, maybe white collar, maybe blue, in the industry long associated with the local area. She worked as a typist, or teacher, but went part-time once married - how else could she cook, wash and keep the house clean for her husband? - and, once pregnant, gave up work altogether (you just did, didn't you; in some jobs you were actually forced to). The loss of income didn't matter; with a bit of scrimping and saving, the money he brought in was enough for both of them. Vegetables grew in the allotment and the small front garden was always tidy.In time, Mr and Mrs A acquired a television, a hi-fi, a saloon car; they'd never had it so good.