You'd think the Americans might have noticed by now that they have been

You'd think the Americans might have noticed by now that they have been having a stand-off with Cuba for 40 years now and have signally failed to do anything but embitter the Cuban people.How will the situation get better?It won't It's getting worse. Not only do we have political gridlock, but Britain has gone one worse because, caught in the beef ban traffic jam, Britain has been infected with the political equivalent of road rage and is refusing to collaborate with anyone in Europe. At least, they won't until America practises what it preaches and ceases its stand-off situation with Cuba. Come to Atlanta for the Olympics.That's it? That's all the advice America has for the world?Yes.It's not much.Well, it also advises people not to get into a stand-off situation, like Israel and the Arabs, Iran and Iraq, China and Taiwan, Bosnia and everyone else....Do people take any notice?No. The US has a huge deficit and Japan has a huge surplus and if Japan called in all its debts, the US might go bust.Is that true?Well, it's more complicated than that, but basically, yes. And if the US went bust, it couldn't tell the rest of the world what to do.What does it tell the rest of the world to do?Get its act together Shape up or ship out Buy American. So the Northern Ireland situation remains.You mean - nobody wants Northern Ireland?Nobody.

Except, possibly, the United States.Why don't we give it to the US?They have troubles enough already.Such as...?Their stand-off with their great Asian enemy.China?No, Japan. Anyway, the South has troubles of its own.Like what?Like having to stage the Eurovision Song Contest in perpetuity, which could bankrupt the country. What do we find in Northern Ireland?We find Sinn Fein/IRA refusing to call a ceasefire before talks and we find the British refusing to admit them to talks before a ceasefire.Hmm That's a stand-off, then?That's not the half of it. In fact, the Irish government has promised in secret to agree to anything Mr Major proposes if only Britain takes over the Eurovision Song Contest Mr Major has said this is unacceptable. The Catholics in Northern Ireland want to be reunited with the South and the Protestants want to remain united with Britain.You can't have both, can you?You can't have either, really.

The South doesn't want to be linked up with the Catholics from Northern Ireland and the mainland wants to be shot of Northern Ireland altogether. I keep reading that we have a stand-off situation in the world. What is meant by a stand-off? It's another word for fly half No, not that kind of stand-off. I meant a political stand-off. Oh, well, a stand-off is to politics what gridlock is to traffic.You mean, everything coming to a standstill?Yes.Has that happened ever?It is happening now. The whole political system of the world is coming to a gradual standstill.Why?Because everyone is asking the impossible of everyone else before progress is made.Could you give me an example of this?Lord bless you, my child, I could give you a hundred thousand examples, but let us content ourselves with a look at the situation in Northern Ireland What do we find in Northern Ireland?I don't know.

It was almost enough to make one believe in a benign God - though this was a view with which the environmental organisations were likely to disagree.Down in Hampstead it was nine o'clock in the morning, and the cicadas shrieked and the pampas grass creaked and another infernal day was under way Greg Smith swallowed his pride and picked up the phone He'd go north again, after all.. Finally, today, the north was reaping the benefits of what it had originally sown. What should concern Turkey's friends in the West is how badly the established parties have bungled things, for it is that which has given the religious party its entree. Turkey is avowedly a secular state, though in practice the links between mosque and state are strong.